Liberal LearnersPosted: January 28, 2013
Ah, liberal academia.
If you’re a college student, you know what I’m talking about. On any campus, you’ll see an abundance of students in Birkenstock sandals and Che Guevara tees. Most of these clueless kids would be shocked to learn that Guevara was put in charge of ridding Cuba’s society of gays, dissidents, and AIDS. But that’s okay, because the T-shirt is just so darn colorful and hip!
These silly, well-intentioned students eat their tofu bars while pontificating about how evil corporate America is. Of course, they use their Macs to do this, which are built by America’s largest corporate giant (Apple was bigger than Exxon Mobil as of the beginning of this month). But that doesn’t matter, because liberals love Apple.
Pumping out political commentary is a fulltime job for these idealistic do-gooders. They furiously blog about how the government has no right to control abortion, but simultaneously demand that the government pay for it. Blogging and tweeting makes them feel important. They get together to talk, nod in agreement, enjoy a doobie (that’s pronounced DO-BEE, mom), and wear patchouli. Yes, lots and lots of patchouli, to cover the smell of pot and body odor (which, but the way, is only slightly less offensive than patchouli). Can you tell how much I love patchouli? Good grief, even the word “patchouli” irritates me.
These plugged-in activists were busy texting, blogging, and posting when it was revealed that thirty years ago, Romney put his dog in a pet carrier strapped to the top of his car. Liberals went into an online frenzy. By comparison, there was very little chatter on the interweb when it was discovered that Obama had eaten dog in his youth! Then again, who among us hasn’t enjoyed a good Korean meal?
Most of these students want what’s best for our society, but they are completely devoid of any economic education (other than what they hear on MSNBC or “All Things Considered”). Ask them about the economy, and they will tell you the rich are taking advantage of the rest of us, and need to pay more in taxes. But ask them about the “Laffer Curve” or current Fed policy, and you usually get a blank, cannabis-induced stare over their badly groomed mustaches (and that includes the ladies)!
College campuses are liberal utopias. And if you think the students are progressive, come take a look at the professors. Political Science classes are often bias jabber-sessions, taught by greying-ponytailed idealists.
I remember one writing class where the teacher was especially vocal about her political views. This was last spring when the presidential primaries were in full swing, so I was expecting some political banter in the classroom. But this professor had her head positioned so far up Obama’s rear-end, she could probably count his colon rings. (My apologies to our dear friend and retired Congressman Barney Frank for the anal reference).
One afternoon during an in-class activity, I wrote about my admiration for Ron Paul’s presidential campaign. When I read the piece aloud, an awkward silence fell over the room. It was as though someone just farted and everyone was embarrassed and didn’t know what to say.
After the “Ron Paul reading event”, as I like to call it, my classmates acted differently around me. Not mean, per se, but they treated me like the sweet but sad handicapped wheelchair kid in elementary school. I got lots of fake smiles, short pleasantries, then, “Well, I gotta go now”. The teacher gave me a C for the semester. Yet my liberal friend who can’t spell “politics” (there’s no “K” in there, Sheila!) got an A for reciting the proper political message.
My experience in that class was frustrating, but not uncommon. Last year, those Obama “Forward” tees were everywhere. I honestly can say I don’t remember seeing a single Romney shirt on campus. This is probably because conservative students are so rare, but also because it’s clear conservatives are not welcome. Even the “End the Fed” sticker on my laptop gets me evil glares.
The truth is, while this one-sided academic culture is annoying, I don’t really care about the political views of those around me. Heck, I even agree with progressives on some issues, like gay marriage. Then again, as a libertarian, I think we should allow anyone to marry anyone. How about polygamy? If not, why not? And I support abortion rights. I dare say, I think some preggos should be encouraged to consider abortion (you listening, Kim Kardashian?).
It’s not the differences in opinion that bother me- it’s the smugness and overwhelming self-righteousness of these liberal students. They pride themselves on being “tolerant”, but will not tolerate anyone who doesn’t completely agree with their liberal ideas. They think it’s okay to trash millions of dollars worth of public property in the name of social justice, ala Occupy Wall Street. Yet peaceful Tea Party demonstrations will not be tolerated because it does not fall in line with their liberal agenda.
The bottom line is that it isn’t easy being a conservative (or libertarian) student on a college campus. If you speak your mind, you risk being ostracized. And depending on your professor, you could even suffer a bad grade.
As for me, I will shamefully admit that I pretend to be a little more liberal than I really am when writing my political science papers. After all, my professor has an awesome grey ponytail.
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